Sarcasm Quotes, Sarcastic Sayings
+36I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
- Anonymous
+33I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
- Anonymous
+28Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
- Golda Meir
+27Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
- Anonymous
+27He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
- Anonymous
+26Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
- Anonymous
+26If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
- Anonymous
+23Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Anonymous
+20A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
- Anonymous
+20Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
- Anonymous
+20There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
- Anonymous
+20You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.
- Anonymous
+18If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
- Anonymous
+18He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Anonymous
+18We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
- Anonymous
+18There are some people who come in your life pretending that they love u only because they need you
+17I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Anonymous
+16Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- Anonymous
+10The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
- Anonymous
+7Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.
- Anonymous
+7The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa
+7Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson
+6Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
- Gordon Dickson
+5You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
+5He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
- Forrest Tucker
+5I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.
- Erma Bombeck
+5The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw
+5To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
- Gustave Flaubert
+4I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow
+4When dealing with sarcastic people, prescribe them the same course of medicine but with a stronger dosage
+3A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
- Alben W. Barkley
+3As regards rap music, I believe that the c is silent.
- Dr. Tony Giles
+3Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.
- Andrei Codrescu
+3A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams
+3Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them.
- Samuel Butler
+3The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were.
- David Brinkley
+2It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.
- Caron
+2Automatic simply means that you can’t repair it yourself.
- Frank Capra
+2It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman
+2What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.
- Don Williams, Jr.
