Sarcasm Quotes, Sarcastic Sayings

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I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
– Anonymous

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I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
– Anonymous

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Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
– Golda Meir

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Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
– Anonymous

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Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
– Anonymous

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He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Anonymous

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Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
– Anonymous

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If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
– Anonymous

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There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
– Anonymous

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Anonymous

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A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
– Anonymous

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If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
– Anonymous

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Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
– Anonymous

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You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.
– Anonymous

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He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Anonymous

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We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
– Anonymous

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There are some people who come in your life pretending that they love u only because they need you

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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
– Anonymous

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The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
– Anonymous

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Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.
– Anonymous

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The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
– Frank Zappa

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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
– Johnny Carson

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The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
– George Bernard Shaw

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Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
– Gordon Dickson

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You have delighted us long enough.
– Jane Austen

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He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
– Forrest Tucker

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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.
– Erma Bombeck

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Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them.
– Samuel Butler

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To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
– Gustave Flaubert

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I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
– Clarence Darrow

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When dealing with sarcastic people, prescribe them the same course of medicine but with a stronger dosage

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Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
– Ashleigh Brilliant

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A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
– Alben W. Barkley

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As regards rap music, I believe that the c is silent.
– Dr. Tony Giles

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Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.
– Andrei Codrescu

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A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
– Joey Adams

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The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were.
– David Brinkley

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It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.
– Caron

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Automatic simply means that you can’t repair it yourself.
– Frank Capra

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It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
– Paul Newman

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