Sarcasm Quotes, Sarcastic Sayings
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
- Golda Meir
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.
If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
There are some people who come in your life pretending that they love u only because they need you
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
- Gordon Dickson
You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
- Forrest Tucker
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.
- Erma Bombeck
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
- Gustave Flaubert
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow
When dealing with sarcastic people, prescribe them the same course of medicine but with a stronger dosage
A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
- Alben W. Barkley
As regards rap music, I believe that the c is silent.
- Dr. Tony Giles
Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.
- Andrei Codrescu
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them.
- Samuel Butler
The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were.
- David Brinkley
It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.
Automatic simply means that you can’t repair it yourself.
- Frank Capra
It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman
What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.
- Don Williams, Jr.