Puns Quotes
+2The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
- Evan Esar
+1Nothing risque, nothing gained.
- Alexander Woollcott
+1Puns are a form of humor with words.
- Guillermo Cabrera
+1Coincidences are spiritual puns.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
+1Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.
Victor Hugo
+1He that would pun would pick a pocket.
- Alexander Pope
+1War is just one more government program.
- Joseph Sobran
+1One man’s Mede is another man’s Persian.
— George S. Kaufman
+1As a physician, I am grateful for small fevers.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes
+1Honeymoon the morning after the knot before.
- Anonymous
+1It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.
- Bugs Baer
+1When I’m good I’m very good, but when I’m bad I’m better.
- Mae West
+1Half the lies our opponents tell about us are not true.
- Sir Boyle Roche
+1I’d rather be vaguely right than precisely wrong.
- John Maynard Keynes
+1The things my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque.
— Peter Vries
+1I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill natured man.
- Charles Lamb
+1A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don’t think of it first.
— Oscar Levant
+1I think the play actually became bigger than me. No pun intended.
- Camryn Manheim
+1In Men in Black, it was a very small character, no pun intended.
- Verne Troyer
+1A man who could make so vile a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket.
- John Dennis
+1A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
– Doug Larson
+1In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot.
- Arthur Koestler
+1To die for an idea is to place a pretty high price upon conjectures.
- Anatole France
+1A witticism that the listener groans at because he didn’t think of it first.
— Evan Esar
+1Putting your hands in the earth is very grounding, if you’ll excuse the pun.
- John Glover
+1It requires genius to make a good pun – some men of bright parts can’t reach it.
- Hannah Cowley
+1Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
- Fred Allen
+1Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
- W. C. Fields
+1The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.
- Edgar Allan
+1A good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.
- James Boswell
+1Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.
- Edgar Allan Poe
+1When one hears a pun, one feels as though one has been pushed over without one’s consent.
Graycie Harmon
+1I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
Allan Sloan
+1I think baseball the baseball genre is this mitt, to use a double pun there, to catch a whole bunch of themes.
Rachel Griffiths
+1Puns are the gag hand buzzers of conversation. It hurts a bit but everyone gets a good laugh out of it.
Grey Livingston
+1“All ravens are black” is logically equivalent to the statement “all non black objects are non ravens”.
Carl Gustav Hempel
+1I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Bill Watterson
+1It seems that perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Antoine
+1If you trip over a pun in your speaking it’s not so bad but to intentionally jump on one is a true offense.
Graycie Harmon
+1A pun’s the lowest form of wit, It does not tax the brain a bit; One merely takes a word that’s plain And picks one out that sounds the same.
— Anonymous
