Golf Quotes, Sayings about Golf sport
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
- William Wordsworth
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
- Al Boliska
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
- Jim Bishop
If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1 iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
- Lee Trevino
Golf is hockey at the halt.
- Arthur Marshall
My handicap? Woods and irons.
- Chris Codiroli
The worst club in my bag is my brain.
- Chris Perry
Even God has to practice his putting.
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
- Dean Martin
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
- Bob Hope
Forget your opponents; always play against par.
- Sam Snead
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
- G.K. Chesterton
A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.
- Barry Fitzgerald
Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain’t no game.
- Burt Shotten
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
- Paul Gallico
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
- Art Rosenbaum
Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.
- Chi Chi Rodriguez
There are two things you can do with your head down play golf and pray.
- Lee Trevino
They call it golf because all of the other four letter words were taken.
- Raymond Floyd
Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses.
- Adlai Stevenson
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
- Joey Adams
One thing about golf is you don’t know why you play bad and why you play good.
- George Archer
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.
- Ken Venturi
I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
- Gerald Ford
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
- Robin Williams
I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it.
- Jim Dent
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
- Miller Barber
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
- Tommy Armour
Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent’s.
- Grantland Rice
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
- Pete Dye
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.
- Bobby Jones
If I can hit a curveball, why can’t I hit a ball that is standing still on a course?
- Larry Nelson
Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one.
- Martha Beckman
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
- A.A. Milne
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.
- Harry Toscano
It’s so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.
- J.C. Snead
Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
- Jack Nicklaus