Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Sub Categories :- Funny Birthday Quotes
- Funny Golf Quotes
- Funny Marriage Quotes
- Funny Men Quotes
- Funny Witty Quotes
- Funny Women Quotes
+24Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
- Anonymous
+23The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
- Kin Hubbard
+22The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Anonymous
+22I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
- Anonymous
+22If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
- Anonymous
+22Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up
- Anonymous
+22You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
- Anonymous
+22The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
- Anonymous
+22Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
- Anonymous
+21Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
- Anonymous
+21The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
- Woody Allen
+20Attack life, it’s going to kill you anyway.
- Steven Coallier
+20Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- Hedy Lamarr
+20You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths.
- Anonymous
+20I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
+20My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Anonymous
+20Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
- Anonymous
+20After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
- Anonymous
+18I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming.
- A. A. Attanasio
+18Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
- Anonymous
+18The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
- Anonymous
+18Women Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
- Anonymous
+18Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous
+18I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
- Anonymous
+18Most women are not as young as they are painted.
- Anonymous
+17I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple
+16An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie
+16My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of. Lord only knows.
- Anonymous
+16Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Anonymous
+16If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Anonymous
+16What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
- Anonymous
+16A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
- Anonymous
+16I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
- Anonymous
+16You can’t be late until you show up.
- Anonymous
+15There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.
- Josh Groban
+14Boys are like bubble gum, sweet in the beginning, but dull in the end! 
+14I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
- Anonymous
+14Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
- Anonymous
+14Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
- Anonymous
+14Golf is a funny game and today seemed to go my way, so it was nice to get off to a good start.
- Anonymous
