Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 15

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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
– Adam Ferrara

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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
– Adam Ferrara

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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
– Adam Ferrara

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Let the old woman have her God, God was as necessary for old women as enemas and Lipton tea bags.
– Stephen King

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She’s the sort of woman who lives for others – you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
– C. S. Lewis

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Exceptionally we find a law which does not have an exception

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Pride was the belt you used to hold your pants up when you had no pants.
– Stephen King

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The Disney parks are scripted, and I hate that. Hate it. I think what they are doing down there in Orlando is fun-pimping.
– Stephen King

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Beware the dark stranger! He rides a unicycle.
– Stephen King

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Hatred can become like food, it gives you this energy that you can, like, live off …
– Claire Danes

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Adventures are never fun while you’re having them.
– C. S. Lewis

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From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
– Dr. Seuss

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
– Oscar Wilde

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If your relationship has more issues than a magazine, I suggest you cancel that subscription.
– Anonymous

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A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.
– Edgar A. Shoaff

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If all you say are lies what do you say that is true?

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You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there’d be something funny about it to me.
– Chevy Chase

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It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will loosen the skin just below your chin, making you look like Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars. Happy birthday
– Anonymous

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I wonder why you can always read a doctor’s bill and you can never read his prescription.
– Anonymous

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