Funny Quotes and Sayings

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
- Mae West

Tag: Mae West

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.
- Demetri Martin

You’re so much more endearing with the sound turned off.
- Brandon Boyd

A blunderer is a man who starts a meat market during Lent.
- James Montgomery Bailey

Have you seen my Kungfu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awesome!
- Gerard Way

You’ve got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier.
- Anonymous

Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.
- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Garry Shandling always said to me,”Don’t get mad, get funny. It changed my life.”
- Rip Torn

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
- Blake Clark

I figured out Karl Rove’s political strategy make gas so expensive, no Democrats can afford to go to the polls.
- Senator John Kerry

Mission criticality does not imply criticality of mission.
- John Alejandro King

I hate it when people don’t remember my name. It means I have to try to think of it myself.
- John Alejandro King

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A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
- Demetri Martin

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I’ve been in the Bible every day since I’ve been the president.
- George W. Bush

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A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.
- Cyrano De Bergerac

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