Funny Quotes and Sayings
-1Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
- Max Eastman
-1The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle.
- Bob Varsha
-1I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
- Patrick Murray
-1Do you know why they call it ‘PMS’? Because ‘Mad Cow Disease’ was already taken.
- Anonymous
-1A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.
- Cyrano De Bergerac
-2I just thought of something funny…your mother.
- Cheech Marin
-2After God, long live wine.
- Rosalia De Castro
-2Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.
- Dan Castellaneta
-2The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is out grossing my films.
- Paul Newman
-2If all you say are lies what do you say that is true?
-3Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.
- Samuel Goldwyn
-3As I get older, I just prefer to knit.
- Tracey Ullman
-3It’s funny to me that I have to prove to the banks that I’M honest.
- Scott Adams
-3A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
- Demetri Martin
-5I always like a dog so long as he isn’t spelled backward.
- G.K. Chesterton
-5I’ve been in the Bible every day since I’ve been the president.
- George W. Bush