Funny Quotes and Sayings
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
- Mae West
Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.
- Demetri Martin
You’re so much more endearing with the sound turned off.
- Brandon Boyd
A blunderer is a man who starts a meat market during Lent.
- James Montgomery Bailey
Have you seen my Kungfu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awesome!
- Gerard Way
You’ve got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier.
- Anonymous
Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.
- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
Garry Shandling always said to me,”Don’t get mad, get funny. It changed my life.”
- Rip Torn
Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
- Blake Clark
I figured out Karl Rove’s political strategy make gas so expensive, no Democrats can afford to go to the polls.
- Senator John Kerry
Mission criticality does not imply criticality of mission.
- John Alejandro King
I hate it when people don’t remember my name. It means I have to try to think of it myself.
- John Alejandro King
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
- Demetri Martin
I’ve been in the Bible every day since I’ve been the president.
- George W. Bush
A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.
- Cyrano De Bergerac


0