Funny Birthday Quotes

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It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.
– Anonymous

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Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
– Anonymous

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After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
– Anonymous

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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
– Robert Frost

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Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
– Anonymous

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My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of. Lord only knows.
– Anonymous

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Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday. I guess we’ve reached the age when every compliment we get is typically accompanied by “for someone your age.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! At our age, I don’t know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we’re lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday. Don’t be sad you’re a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can! Well, you know what I mean.
– Anonymous

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If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! Happy birthday!
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday. At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday. At your age, you should really live LARGE…starting with LARGE print.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday. Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose!
– Anonymous

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You know how most people, on your birthday, tell you, “My goodness, you never seem to age.” Well, I’m not one of them. Happy birthday, old fart!
– Anonymous

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Yes, you’re getting older and wrinklier every day, but it could be worse…you could still have an acne problem! Happy birthday
– Anonymous

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They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure…I’ve met a lot of really stupid old people. So far, you’re not one of them. Happy birthday.
– Anonymous

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Whoever said that time waits for no man, but stands still for a woman of 30, is an idiot. No woman in her right mind would admit to turning 30. Happy 29th birthday!
– Anonymous

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Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves you with an unhealthy glow, saggy skin and crow’s feet. Happy birthday
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! Another year, another reason to curse the inventor of the first modern mirror.
– Anonymous

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Sure, getting older is like a time travel movie in slow motion…but better slow than fast, I always say! I’m in no rush to get to the end of the film. Happy birthday!
– Anonymous

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You are only young and reckless once, but you can be reckless well into your hip-breaking days. Happy birthday.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday. You know you’re getting old when you lose count midway through counting the candles on your birthday cake.
– Anonymous

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The only thing uncool about getting older is that all the things you thought were really lame growing up are super cool now. Golf, anyone? Happy birthday!
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! On your special day, make time to play in your birthday suit…but first make sure it’s clean, and wrinkle-free and doesn’t smell weird.
– Anonymous

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Statistics show that people who keep celebrating birthdays live longer but eventually look worse than Keith Richards in the morning. Happy birthday!
– Anonymous

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Can you blow out all these candles or should I call the fire department? Happy birthday!
– Anonymous

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Count your blessings, not your age spots. Happy birthday!
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! You still have the face of an angel — not a day older than when you first bought it.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday, kiddo! You’ll know you’ve reached adulthood when your birthday cards no longer contain money.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday to a real wonder — someone who acts and looks younger than any person I know our age. I really hate you. Like really, really!
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! Your skin is way too taut and firm for someone who’s at least a decade past the age when most of us experience the dreaded pull of gravity.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! You may not consider yourself over the hill yet but you have to admit you’re starting to feel really woozy from the climb.
– Anonymous

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Birthday candles? Blowing them out at your age is not a good idea. You might lose your dentures and knock someone out. Here’s to a safer birthday!
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! I wanted to get you something tremendous, something that just gets better and better every day, but I couldn’t find a box big enough for me.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday to my oldest friend! Didn’t we always say getting older would be a real gas? Well, we were right — excess gas and antacid tablets are the bane of our existence.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! Don’t worry, you’re still a kid — your friends still blow out your birthday candles before you do.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! You have so many candles on your birthday cake you can see the candlelight from space.
– Anonymous

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Happy birthday! When we were younger, we always thought getting older meant we could do whatever we wanted— we never realized that this applied only to our bodies
– Anonymous

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