Funny Women Quotes
+56Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
- Anonymous
+40As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
- Anonymous
+38Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.
- Anonymous
+32It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
- Anonymous
+30To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
- Anonymous
+30Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- Anonymous
+30Avoid hangovers stay drunk.
- Anonymous
+26I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
- Anonymous
+26Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
- Anonymous
+18Women Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
- Anonymous
+18Most women are not as young as they are painted.
- Anonymous
+16If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Anonymous
+16What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
- Anonymous
+16A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
- Anonymous
+16I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
- Anonymous
+14Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
- Anonymous
+14I like my whiskey old and my women young.
- Anonymous
+14No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
- Anonymous
+14Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one.
- Anonymous
+12Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
- Anonymous
+3Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
- Katherine Hepburn
+3Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
- H.L. Mencken
+1Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.
- Martin Andersen
+1Being a woman has only bothered me in climbing trees.
- Frances Perkins
+1If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
- Woody Allen
+1People compare cheating to ice because they think its cool.
– J. Pleas
+1Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.
- Benny Hill
+1A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.
- Gloria Steinem
+1A baby sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars’ worth of your food.
- Henny Youngman
+1It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Laurence Peter
+1Home is the girl’s prison and the woman’s workhouse.
- George Bernard Shaw
