Funny Women Quotes

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Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
– Anonymous

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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
– Anonymous

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Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.
– Anonymous

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It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
– Anonymous

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Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
– Anonymous

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To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
– Anonymous

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Avoid hangovers stay drunk.
– Anonymous

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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
– Anonymous

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Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
– Anonymous

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Women Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
– Anonymous

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Most women are not as young as they are painted.
– Anonymous

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If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
– Anonymous

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What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
– Anonymous

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A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
– Anonymous

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I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
– Anonymous

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Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
– Anonymous

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I like my whiskey old and my women young.
– Anonymous

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No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
– Anonymous

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Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one.
– Anonymous

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Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
– Anonymous

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Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
– H.L. Mencken

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Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.
– Martin Andersen

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Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
– Katherine Hepburn

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A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
– Brendan Francis

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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
– Adam Ferrara

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Home is the girl’s prison and the woman’s workhouse.
– George Bernard Shaw

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A baby sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars’ worth of your food.
– Henny Youngman

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Being a woman has only bothered me in climbing trees.
– Frances Perkins

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People compare cheating to ice because they think its cool.
– J. Pleas

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Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.
– Benny Hill

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A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.
– Gloria Steinem

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
– Woody Allen

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It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
– Laurence Peter

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Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
– George Carlin

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Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
– Oscar Wilde

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art of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men’s behavior is measured with a feminine ruler.
– Francesca M. Cancian

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They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men.
– Clare Boothe Luce

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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
– Adam Ferrara

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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
– Adam Ferrara

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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
– Adam Ferrara

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