Funny Quotes and Sayings
I’ve got problem for your solution.
- Anonymous
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?
- Anonymous
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson
My father hated radio and he could not wait for television to be invented so that he could hate that too.
- Peter De Vries
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
- Anonymous
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up.
- Joe Namath
There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.
- Josh Groban
I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted.
- George Best
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple
The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- Hedy Lamarr
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
- Kin Hubbard
Attack life, it’s going to kill you anyway.
- Steven Coallier
The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.
- Oscar Wilde
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- Jim Davis
It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.
- William Thomas
If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.
- Dave Allen
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken
If it begins with a wink, it can end with a slap.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- Proverb


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