Will Rogers Quotes

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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
– Will Rogers

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
– Will Rogers

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If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
– Will Rogers

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A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.
– Will Rogers

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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
– Will Rogers

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Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.
– Will Rogers

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Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.
– Will Rogers

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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
– Will Rogers

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I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
– Will Rogers

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People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
– Will Rogers

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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
– Will RogersI

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An economist’s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else’s.
– Will Rogers

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Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn’t have to advertise it.
– Will Rogers

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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
– Will Rogers

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You can’t say that civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
– Will Rogers

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People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.
– Will Rogers

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Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid for cars be allowed to use the highways.
– Will Rogers

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Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
– Will Rogers

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If you don’t play, you can’t win!
– Anonymous

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Rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth.
– Will Rogers

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So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
– Will Rogers

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Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
– Will Rogers

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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what’s going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
– Will Rogers

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I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.
– Will Rogers

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Does college pay? They do if you are a good open field runner.
– Will Rogers

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I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.
– Will Rogers

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Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
– Will Rogers

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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
– Will Rogers

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All I know is what I read in the papers.
– Will Rogers

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Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
– Will Rogers

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The man with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?”
– Will Rogers

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The trouble with our praying is, we just do it as a means of last resort.
– Will Rogers

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Even if you’re on the right track – you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
– Will Rogers

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The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.
– Will Rogers

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If we got one tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.
– Will Rogers

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You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
– Will Rogers

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We don’t give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give ’em plenty of publicity.
– Will Rogers

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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
– Will Rogers

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Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
– Will Rogers

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Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
– Will Rogers

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