Phyllis Diller Quotes

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The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
- Phyllis

Diller

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
- Phyllis Diller

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
- Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
- Phyllis Diller

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
– Phyllis Diller

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
– Phyllis Diller

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
- Phyllis Diller

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

Feminism is doomed to failure because it is based on an attempt to repeal and restructure human nature.
- Phyllis Diller

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
- Phyllis Diller