Mark Twain Quotes
+32To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
- Mark Twain
+32If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
+26What would men be without women? Scarce, sir .. mighty scarce.
- Mark Twain
+26Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
+22Consider well the proportion of things. It is better to be a young June bug, than an old bird of paradise.
- Mark Twain
+20Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
- Mark Twain
+18To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.
- Mark Twain
+18When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
+9The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.
- Mark Twain
+7Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
- Mark Twain
+5Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.
- Mark Twain
+5God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.
- Mark Twain
+3There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
- Mark Twain
+3The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
- Mark Twain
+3Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
+3Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
- Mark Twain
+3I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
- Mark Twain
+3The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain
+3Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.
- Mark Twain
+3Get e bicycle. You will certainly not regret it, if you live.
- Mark Twain
+3In religion and politics, people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.
- Mark Twain
+3When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
- Mark Twain
+3The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
- Mark Twain
+2Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
- Mark Twain
+1A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
- Mark Twain
+1It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
- Mark Twain
+1Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom.
– Mark Twain
+1The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain
+1Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
- Mark Twain
+1Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Mark Twain
+1A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining.
- Mark Twain
+1Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
+1There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
+1Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
- Mark Twain
+1Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.
- Mark Twain
+1The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
+1Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
- Mark Twain
+1I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain
+1Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
- Mark Twain
+1Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain
