Mae West Quotes

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His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
- Mae West

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When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
- Mae West

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I speak two languages, Body and English.
- Mae West

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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
- Mae West

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The score never interested me, only the game.
- Mae West

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I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
- Mae West

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Loves conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
- Mae West

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I feel like a million tonight but one at a time.
- Mae West

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Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.
- Mae West

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Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
- Mae West

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If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.
- Mae West

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It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don’t break any.
- Mae West

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I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.
- Mae West

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I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.
- Mae West

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No gold digging for me; I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.
- Mae West

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When I’m good I’m very good, but when I’m bad I’m better.
- Mae West

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I have found men who didn’t know how to kiss. I’ve always found time to teach them.
- Mae West

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A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
- Mae West

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Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
- Mae West

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It’s not the men in my life, it’s the life in my men.
- Mae West

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A hard man is good to find.
- Mae West

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You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
- Mae West

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A man’s kiss is his signature.
- Mae West

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Brains are an asset, if you hide them.
- Mae West

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Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
- Mae West

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She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
- Mae West

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Don’t cry for a man who’s left you, the next one may fall for your smile.
- Mae West

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I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.
- Mae West

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It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
- Mae West

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Look your best–who said love is blind?
- Mae West

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Love isn’t an emotion or an instinct–it’s an art.
- Mae West

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All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
- Mae West

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Love thy neighbor and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

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Love is the only industry which can’t operate on a five-day week.
- Mae West

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Success is a two bladed golden sword; it knights one and stabs one at the same time.
- Mae West

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I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
- Mae West

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You may admire a girl’s curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.
- Mae West

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Life’s just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.
- Mae West