Homer J Simpson Quotes

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’.
- Homer J Simpson

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
- Homer J Simpson

Operator, give me the number for 911!
- Homer J Simpson

I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!
- Homer J. Simpson

A decent boldness ever meets with friends.
- Homer J Simpson

In youth and beauty wisdom is but rare!
- Homer J Simpson

The outcome of the war is in our hands; the outcome of words is in the council.
- Homer J Simpson

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.
- Homer J Simpson

And pines with thirst amidst a sea of waves.
- Homer J Simpson

If you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half assed. That’s the American way.
- Homer J Simpson

There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.
- Homer J Simpson

Even where sleep is concerned, too much is a bad thing.
- Homer J Simpson

In this house, we OBEY the laws of thermodynamics!
- Homer J Simpson

All men have need of the gods.
- Homer J Simpson

The Internet? Is that thing still around?
- Homer J Simpson

The fates have given mankind a patient soul.
- Homer J Simpson

Now deep in ocean sunk the lamp of light, And drew behind the cloudy vale of night.
- Homer J Simpson

It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.
- Homer J Simpson

How vain, without the merit, is the name.
- Homer J Simpson

Who ne’er knew salt, or heard the billows roar.
- Homer J Simpson

I live an idle burden to the ground.
- Homer J Simpson

A hunter of shadows, himself a shade.
- Homer J Simpson

A guest never forgets the host who had treated him kindly.
- Homer J Simpson

Rare gift! but oh, what gift to fools avails!
- Homer J Simpson

Don’t worry boy, it’s a controlled burn. I don’t know the chemical reaction, but fire made it good.
- Homer J Simpson

Page 1 of 212 »