Erma Bombeck Quotes
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates.
- Erma Bombeck
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
- Erma Bombeck
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
- Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
- Erma Bombeck
In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on TV.
- Erma Bombeck
No self respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
- Erma Bombeck
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
- Erma Bombeck
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.
- Erma Bombeck
I am not a glutton. I am an explorer of food.
- Erma Bombeck
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
- Erma Bombeck


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