Ambrose Bierce Quotes
+3Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Art, n. This word has no definition.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man…who has no gills.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Abscond to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Overwork: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1House, A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man who has no gills.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. A modern school where football is taught.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Hospitality, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Grammar, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1POKER, A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man,and a man to a worm.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Belladonna: In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smouldering one.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1Diplomacy, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one’s country.
- Ambrose Bierce
+1The covers of this book are too far apart.
- Ambrose Bierce
